Simple truths
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Simple truths
The first pic is another one of those "you thought YOUR job was bad" examples. The second one is a guy with a serous problem asking for some help.
What's six inches long , with a bald head , and sluts are crazy for ?
A hundred dollar bill.
How is a slut like a halogen headlamp ?
Both screw on the front of a Ford Escort
What's the difference between a slut and a Porsche ?
You don't lend your Porsche out to your friends.
What do sluts have have in common with the Bermuda Triangle ?
Both have swallowed countless seamen.
What's the difference between a slut and her man ?
The slut has the higher sperm count.
A slut goes to a druggist and asks the clerk
" I need to buy deodorant for my boyfreind."
" Does he use the ball kind ? " inquires the clerk.
" No , it's the kind for under his arms."
Why do sluts have legs like peanut butter ?
Because it's soft and easy to spread.
The word of the day then is legs
So go up to a slut and spread the word.
How is a slut like an instant lottery ticket ?
All you have to do is scratch the box to win.
What do you say to a slut with a nametag on the left of her buxom chest ?
"' Debbie '', Aww that's cute. What did you name the other one ?
How is a slut like mailing a letter ?
You lick'm , you stick'em , and you send'em on their way.
So why don't sluts talk when having sex ?
Their mothers taught them not to speak to strangers.
No really , why won't sluts talk when having sex ?
Their mothers taught them not to speak with their mouths full.
So why do sluts wear panties anyway ?
To keep their ankles warm ?
So what is foreplay for a slut ?
Thirty minutes of begging ?
So how do sluts ask for sex ?
Ohhh , I'm sooo drunk !
What's the difference between a slut and a bar stool ?
A bar stool seats only one at one time - unless there's a slut on it.
What's the difference between a slut and an oven ?
The oven doesn't whine when you pull your meat out of it.
What's the difference between a slut and a bowling ball ?
You can only fit three fingers in a bowling ball.
What's the difference between a cheap slut and a pay phone ?
You need a coin to use the pay phone.
How are a sluts ears like " love handles " ?
- Are you fucking kidding me ?
Tis the season - So how do you describe 3 prostitutes and a slut ?
Ho, Ho, Ho, and to AwwLLLL a good night.
What's the annoying thing around a slut's vagina ?
All the guys there waiting their turn.
So what do sluts say after multiple orgasms ?
Way to go team !
What do you get when you cross breed a slut with a lawyer ?
Who can say , there are some things so dirty even a slut won't do them.
What's the difference between a slut and a walrus ?
One has whiskers and fishy flaps, and the other is just a walrus.
A slut is walking down the street on a leash with a little pig.
A person she passes asks " Oh where did you get that ? "
The pig says, " I won her in a raffle ! "
A good slut can suck the chrome off a trailer hitch , but
a really good slut will suck the bedsheet right up your ass.
What's the difference between a slut and a mosquito ?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
Why did god give sluts more brains than horses ?
Because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during parades.
What do you say to a slut with no arms and no legs ?
" Nice Tits ! "
What do sluts do with their little assholes in the morning ?
They pack their lunches and send them off to school.
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A Fun Collection of Beastly Numbers
WARNING: This page should not be viewed by anyone suffering from hexakósioi-hexékonta-hexa-phobia (fear of you-know-what!)
666 Biblical Number of the Beast
660 Approximate Number of the Beast
DCLXVI Roman Numeral of the Beast
665 Number of the Beast's Older Brother
667 Number of the Beast's Younger Sister
664 or 668 Number of the Beast's Next-Door Neighbors
999 Number of the Australian Beast
333 Number of the Semi-Beast (also "Halfway to Hell")
66 Number of the Downsized Beast
6, uh..., I forget Number of the Blond Beast
666.0000 Number of the High Precision Beast
665.9997856 Number of the Beast on a Pentium
0.666 Number of the Millibeast
X / 666 Beast Common Denominator
0.00150150... Reciprocal of the Beast
-666 Opposite of the Beast
666i Imaginary Number of the Beast
6.66 x 102 Scientific Notation of the Beast
25.8069758... Square Root of the Beast
443556 Square of the Beast
1010011010 Binary Number of the Beast
1232 Octal of the Beast
29A Hexidecimal of the Beast
2.8235 Log of the Beast
6.5913 Ln of the Beast
1.738 x 10289 Anti-Log of the Beast
00666 Zip Code of the Beast
666 @ hell.org E-mail Address of the Beast
www(dot)666(dot)com Website of the Beast
1-666-666-6666 Phone & FAX Number of the Beast
1-866-666-6666 Toll Free Number of the Beast
(which could also be written 18-666-666-666!)
1-900-666-6666 Live Beasts, available now! One-on-one pacts!
Only $6.66 per minute! (Must be over 6+6+6 years old!)
666-66-6666 Social Security Number of the Beast
Form 10666 Special IRS Tax Forms for the Beast
66.6% Tax Rate of the Beast
6.66% 6-Year CD Interest Rate at First Beast Bank of Hell
($666 minimum deposit, $666 early withdrawal fee)
$666/hr Billing Rate of the Beast's Lawyer
$665.95 Retail Price of the Beast
$710.36 Price of the Beast plus 6.66% Sales Tax
$769.95 Price of the Beast with accessories and replacement soul
$656.66 Wal-Mart Price of the Beast (next week $646.66!)
$55.50 Monthly Payments for Beast, in 12 easy installments
Phillips 666 Gasoline Used by the Beast (regular $6.66/gal)
Route 666 Highway of the Beast (where he gets his kicks!)
666 mph Speed Limit on the Beast's Highway
6-6-6 Fertilizer of the Beast
666 lb cap Weight Limit of the Beast
666 Minutes Weekly News Show about the Beast (airs daily from
Midnight to 11:06 a.m., on Cable Channel 666, of course)
666o F Oven Temperature for Cooking "Roast Beast"
666k Retirement Plan of the Beast
666 mg Recommended Minimum Daily Requirement of Beast
Lotus 6-6-6 Spreadsheet of the Beast
Word 6.66 Word Processor of the Beast
Windows 666 Bill Gates' Personal Beast Operating System
#666666 Font Color of the Beast (the gray in this table, no kidding!)
i66686 CPU of the Beast
666-I BMW of the Beast
IAM 666 License Plate Number of the Beast
Formula 666 All Purpose Cleaner of the Beast
WD-666 Spray Lubricant of the Beast
DSM-666 (rev) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the Beast
66.6 MHz FM Radio Station of the Beast
666 KHz AM Radio Station of the Beast
66 for 6 A Beastly Score for an Innings (in cricket)
6 for 66 Bowling Figures of the Beast
6/6/6 Birthday of the Beast (but in which century?)
Why women love Cappadocia Turkey
Rock Hard Dicks as far as you can see
A few funny pics.
The first one from SouthPark probably captures how a lot of us feel when we are away from the internet too long.
The next two are just women having a laugh.
The last one.....well, check out her boots. I guess if she looks half as good from the front as she does from behind she might need those boots. :D
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
You don't cry when you chop up a hooker!
and im not sure ifwe can post links here....but this is funny!!
http:// www DOT pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=bc83ddd51998d13ab684
Big Bad Wolf:
The big bad wolf said to little red riding hood "unbutton your blouse and let me suck your tits" fuck off she replied as she tugged down her pantie’s "eat me like the fuckin book says"
What's the difference between a whore and a wife?
A wife is a device you screw on the bed to keep the floor clean.
A whore is a device you screw on the floor to keep the bed clean.
Can i spread my holiday cheer on your face??