I can't cum with oral

Well actually that is overstatement, i have finished once with oral but thats it. Usually 30 minutes and nothing, and i haven't found a woman willing to go longer 45 minutes. I let her use hands and still nothing. This was with my ex wife and with the girl i'm with now. And both provided good mouth love. Is there anything i can do to help other than just jerking off. Cause that kinda makes this girl feel like a cum tissue.

On a side note is there anyway i can take the stamina and transfer it over to just normal sex. Cause that kind of time can be useful.

Join the club. Been with this girl 4 years and haven't been able to cum from oral at all. Not for lack of effort and I feel guilty sometimes about how long she is down there. My ex was able to a time or two. The real winner was a fuck buddy. She was crazy (seriously) and would beg me to fuck her throat. One time she blew me in an adult theater and I came in her mouth. It was a complete surprise and fucking awesome. Maybe you have to up it a notch on the excitement scale? I'm just guessing on my own personal experience.

Best of luck!

my issue with oral is, most girls are just 'going through the paces' and not very good at it, or show much enjoyment from it. when it seems to be a chore, i don't enjoy it, or i feel bad about it. total cumshot buzzkill. this is usually nervous, early date blowjobs, or women who don't think much of it in general other than 'guys like it, i guess i'll do it'

the only three ways oral makes me cum are:
-light flicking or rubbing on or by the tongue itself, light sweet gestures of the mouth for a while. occasional eye contact, smiling, mumbing, etc is also key to any of these following techniques as well.
-crazy gonzo deepthroating and hard sucking from a woman who is into it and loving every minute of it (older women, in my experience) cheek stretching, gagging and hard sucking to the base (hard sucking on the head is too much)
- gentle slapping of the cock on the face, or rubbing the cock all over her face- either by me or by her (happens when they are into it)

otherwise, standard 'oral' as we know it is basically useless on me. so don't feel bad.

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Originally Posted by gobison

One time she blew me in an adult theater and I came in her mouth. It was a complete surprise and fucking awesome.

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Actually thats kinda funny, the one instance i came during oral was sitting in a movie theater.

But no these 2 ladies i mention are pretty much into it at least on my scale. The one i'm with now is basically begging me to "paint the canvas".

its because it feels so good you dont want it to end, happens to me sometimes too

In my case what works best for me is that instead of letting the woman do the job, i get on top and do all the work myself.
She lays on her back under me, and I 69 her. And usually as soon as I start fucking her mouth/throat rougher I cum.

So perhaps instead of letting a girl suck you, you should fuck her mouth/throat. Know what I mean? Set your own pace?


Offcourse it takes a bit of timing and knowing how not to hurt her throat. Especially when you get rougher.

sounds like you have DGS.


DGS= Death Grip Syndrome

You get it from jacking off too much. Loss of sensitivity from gripping your cock while masturbating. Its definitely not a real "condition" but it does describe a very real phenomenon....I know, I had it. I stopped gripping so hard when I used my hand for masturbation and got a flesh light as well...using both of these methods I was slowly able to regain that sensitivity that you need to nut while getting sucked.

I think you guys have a sensitivity issue when it comes to your penis. You probably can have sex for an extended period of time as well. It is definitely a trade off. Some men have more sensitive genitalia than others and that is just the case in some instances. It is not necessarily a problem with your partner it is probably more likely that you are not stimulated enough or rapidly enough by oral contact.

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Originally Posted by gobison

Join the club... Not for lack of effort and I feel guilty sometimes about how long she is down there.

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Did you ever think about telling her that you can't get off with oral instead of making her suck you off for an hour? LOL.;)

If you can climax during intercourse but not during oral it is unlikely it is a sensitivity issue. It might be something mental or it could just be the technique. You might try getting your woman to try different positions and angles. Sometimes just changing the angle means a lot. For example with me I can get great head from someone either kneeling in front of me or lying between my legs and I can normally go forever without cumming. But if she leans in from the side, so that the back of her head is facing my face, and cups my balls I normally pop within just a few minutes.

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Originally Posted by glory_dog

sounds like you have DGS.


DGS= Death Grip Syndrome

You get it from jacking off too much. Loss of sensitivity from gripping your cock while masturbating. Its definitely not a real "condition" but it does describe a very real phenomenon....I know, I had it. I stopped gripping so hard when I used my hand for masturbation and got a flesh light as well...using both of these methods I was slowly able to regain that sensitivity that you need to nut while getting sucked.

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So if I abstain fromm beating off for a month it could be cured or do I have to go longer?

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Originally Posted by nematode

my issue with oral is, most girls are just 'going through the paces' and not very good at it, or show much enjoyment from it. when it seems to be a chore, i don't enjoy it, or i feel bad about it. total cumshot buzzkill. this is usually nervous, early date blowjobs, or women who don't think much of it in general other than 'guys like it, i guess i'll do it'

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That can be totally true. Or maybe they're just bad at it. I've had a few girls who seemed to be trying, but really just had no real idea of what to do other than put it in their mouth. Neither women nor men are born with oral skills. They have to learn and more importantly want to learn. There's also no set technique that works on everyone as some like things rougher or gentler or in different spots than others.

However, if overall a guy has a problem cumming there may be another issue. Do you jerk off a lot yourself or did you used to? There could be some amount of desensitization. Also after awhile of this it becomes partially a mental block, you may get "tired" of the experience yourself and that's not exciting at all.

Maybe try having no sex or masturbation for awhile, or just giving her oral. If you concentrate on getting her off you may inspire her to do a better job on you next time (if her performance is an issue). Maybe talk to her about specific things she can do and not do with her mouth and hand. But also take the time to figure out what really excites you and what you're thinking of and doing when you do cum.

If your penis overall has less sensation, is it dry a lot? You could try some kind of healing ointment, I actually started doing that and find it restores the skin nicely. Something like a Triple Antibiotic or Aquaphor that's meant to both lubricate and heal any damage. Put it on and leave it on, let it soak in (of course that's a bit messier if you're circumcised, but if your underwear's thick enough it shouldn't soak through).

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Originally Posted by sockmess

So if I abstain fromm beating off for a month it could be cured or do I have to go longer?

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lol I tried stopping for a week and that was difficult....just ease up and seriously think about getting a fleshlight. I use my hand during the week with baby oil and the fleshlight on the weekends....I enjoy my girls bjs much more now.:D

"The real winner was a fuck buddy. She was crazy (seriously) and would beg me to fuck her throat."

This is the answer right here. Guys cum in my throat because they know I want their cum, that is what I crave. When a guy is nervous, it is different. I had a guy once tell me he couldn't feel his dick. That I should go onto someone else because he wasn't going to get hard. I looked him straight in the eye and told him to relax and give me his dick. I wanted to suck it. I wasn't in a hurray. I was in the booth for his cum. He got hard and came in 3 minutes. ;)

If your wife or gf tells you she wants your cum or wants you to cum, relax and enjoy the blowjob and cum.

Piper

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Originally Posted by gobison

Join the club. Been with this girl 4 years and haven't been able to cum from oral at all. Not for lack of effort and I feel guilty sometimes about how long she is down there. My ex was able to a time or two. The real winner was a fuck buddy. She was crazy (seriously) and would beg me to fuck her throat. One time she blew me in an adult theater and I came in her mouth. It was a complete surprise and fucking awesome. Maybe you have to up it a notch on the excitement scale? I'm just guessing on my own personal experience.

Best of luck!

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It happens to me too, but there are lots of things you can do to combat it. If you're into cumplay, don't be shy to ask them to play with your pre-cum. Seeing your girl enjoy your pre-cum by drooling it or making bubbles with it is incredibly sexy, at least to me. You can also get your partner to talk dirty to you. Hold their head and start actually fucking.....there's lots of things you could do. Don't hold out hope.

Very interesting topic, thanks for bringing this emotionally difficult topic up.

I too sometimes have problems. Sometimes it takes less than 5 minutes for me to come when blown, sometimes it seems to take ages.

What really helps is when she plays with or tickles my balls. When she does that, I can cum almost at once! If she does not do it, I can hardly cum.

However, I have great difficulties cuming with penetration, I just can't. Sometimes this is really frustrating, and I honestly am ashamed of it. whatever I try, I simply cant.

try letting her stick a finger up your ass or even a small vibrator. Works for me every time...

Normal blowjob time 20 minutes
digit up the butt.... 5 minutes

I find 69 to be the best. My wife gets some pleasure and I'm concentrating on trying different things on her which in turn gets her more into sucking my cock. It still takes a while for me to cum but neither one of us seem to care how long it is. I have had some of my most intense orgasms this way.

I can rarely get Mr. Pix off orally. its only happened a handful of times, including with other women. he says I'm pretty amazing at it so I don't think its a technique issue. and he loves, loves, loves getting oral (almost as much as I love giving it). different strokes for different folks!

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Originally Posted by gloryholeprincess

Guys cum in my throat because they know I want their cum, that is what I crave. When a guy is nervous, it is different. I had a guy once tell me he couldn't feel his dick. That I should go onto someone else because he wasn't going to get hard. I looked him straight in the eye and told him to relax and give me his dick. I wanted to suck it. I wasn't in a hurray. I was in the booth for his cum. He got hard and came in 3 minutes. ;)

If your wife or gf tells you she wants your cum or wants you to cum, relax and enjoy the blowjob and cum.

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Your comments almost makes me get on the first plane to the US and go visit you!! If I'll ever be in the States again ... omg.

lol at some of the comments. Poor girl, making her blow for a hour.:p Some women just have that right technique, some don't. I'm sure women say the same about guys.

I'd say work with her and find out what feels good, teach her. Or, have her tongue your balls while you stroke and then blow some then back to the balls, that is my favorite that gets me insane hard.

Got to get a new girl for that. But it seems out of the few woman I had pleasure to get oral pleasure from it only happen once in a movie theather. These other flings are afraid I'll cum in their mouth so they only suck for less than a minute. Maybe its time for me to cut down on their oral service... oh well I'll see what happens I guess.

I have the exact opposite problem. I like to say my girl has the magic mouth. I'm damn lucky if I get 3 minutes. She's amazing and she really enjoys it. She likes knowing it makes me feel so good and to get me off even quicker makes her even happier - shows how horny I am for her. I wish you well.

Same here I like a good 30min BJ but a lot of time I cum in like 7min I want it longer my girl is the bomb at giving a good BJ

Has anyone considered whether it could be due to circumcision? That removes a lot of fine touch nerve endings.

I am cut but i mean there are time i can bust a nut with just 5 strokes in vaginal sex. And then are times i can last longer than hour only counting pumping. But with oral every time there is like a block regardless of the woman.

Now handjobs, for some reason fat women giving me handjobs and i can bust in a normal time.

Anti-depressants, particularly SSRIs, can be a real problem for any kind of ejaculation. This is me--- I can orgasm for intercourse but BJs are hit or miss. But if I've been off the SSRIs for awhile, it all comes back. Pardon the pun.

Im uncut and have the same problem. Feels great but havent been able to get there

I bet I could get you both off with my mouth. :winking: Seriously. :tongue_sticking_out
Piper

I have a slightly different issue. Can't cum with oral because she won't carry it to completion :P

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Originally Posted by gloryholeprincess

I bet I could get you both off with my mouth. :winking: Seriously. :tongue_sticking_out
Piper

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I would love to take you up on that! Lol next time youre visiting boston. Hahaha

Me neither. I just think I havent had a good one