Stripper Advice

Okay, I need some questions answered, and don't know who else to ask. I'm not a big strip club guy, but we went to one for my buddy's bachelor party this weekend. Needless to say, I ended up going back to the VIP room with this one stripper because I was enchanted. Not by her tits or anything like that, she was just utterly amazing to talk to. Long story short, I got her number and we've been texting back and fourth regularly since Saturday night. (My first question is, how common is that?)

Long story short, My buddy's wedding is in two weeks, and I will be back there, and there are tentative plans to see each other (outide of the VIP room) (again, how common is that? This and the other one are just because I don't know whether to be impressed with myself or not). This girl is absolutely amazing, and I don't mean "bitch can shake dat ass" amazing, but instead "I could easily see myself absolutely falling in love with this chick, rather quickly" kind of amazing.

Any guidance? How do I navigate through this?

I have no experience on this, but I would say to tread lightly - chances are that this is just a way to get you back to make money, so if the 'first date' is back at the strip club then warning bells should be going off. That said, just because she is a stripper doesn't mean that she isn't also a normal woman who wants to find love just like everyone else (and lets face it, when you work full time it is often hard to meet people outside of work) so I wouldn't be completely skeptical.

I recognised a girl working at a dance club as she lived near me, chatted with her and she was a full time student who had qualifications in dance and saw it as a good way to make money doing something she enjoyed and with no real hassle, strippers no doubt like to see regulars and will probably text them too as phones could be all in with the club, but this could be her doing it on her own back and quite innocent as well and she woman might just like you, keep your wits about you and only time will see.:)

Firstly, thanks for the replys guys. It is really appreciated. There isn't a facial pic out there good enough to pay you back!

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Originally Posted by snesh

I have no experience on this, but I would say to tread lightly - chances are that this is just a way to get you back to make money, so if the 'first date' is back at the strip club then warning bells should be going off. That said, just because she is a stripper doesn't mean that she isn't also a normal woman who wants to find love just like everyone else (and lets face it, when you work full time it is often hard to meet people outside of work) so I wouldn't be completely skeptical.

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I would agree with you, were it not for the fact that I have made it clear that I'm never going back to a strip club, even hers (I had the same suspicions). See, I have no experiences with strippers either, but it felt like there was a real connection. My only doubt comes from the fact that the whole idea of a strip club and a VIP room is to trick men into thinking that! We've spoken steadily every day since, and the more we talk, the less I am fearful I'm being used.

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Originally Posted by spence

I recognised a girl working at a dance club as she lived near me, chatted with her and she was a full time student who had qualifications in dance and saw it as a good way to make money doing something she enjoyed and with no real hassle, strippers no doubt like to see regulars and will probably text them too as phones could be all in with the club, but this could be her doing it on her own back and quite innocent as well and she woman might just like you, keep your wits about you and only time will see.:)

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Side note, some of the girls there were very impressive dancers. Not just "hey they can work a pole" kind of dancers, but they were very graceful and had to have some training, so I wouldn't be surprised if some of them were the same as your friend.

Again guys, thanks for the kind words. I've been going crazy thinking about this girl. Anyway, D-Day is a week from Friday. When I get back, I'll be sure to let you guys know how it turns out! Keep your fingers crossed...

Just stummbled across this post and felt I'd leave my two cents... I visit strip clubs on a regular basis because in my area the happy hours and lunch specials can't really be beat. ($7.00 Porterhouse steaks with two sides and an amazing view!) I also have a very close friend that I've know since grade school that married a stripper.

With that said I can tell you there are two types of girl in the strip club.... The good girls and the bad girls. The good girls unfortunatly get a bad wrap because of the venue and steriotypes that are passed around by guys. There are good girls that dance. They are smart enough to not get caught up in the vices that come along with the profession and realize that its an easy way to make fast money. These are the girls that typically dont get on the stage, only give VIP room dances, and work at clubs far from their homes. You wont see those girls hustling guys for drinks, and getting tipsy drunk by the end of their shift. This is the kind of girl my friend married. She made about a $1,000 a day and bought her car, and house cash. Now i don't know if she was getting guys off in the back, but she was always classy while on the floor. When her and my friend started seeing each other she never discussed money or made him feel any more obligated to open his wallet than any other female.

Bad girls are completly different. They are trying to hustle guys for as much as they can before they become all washed up. Some good girls become bad girls sadly enough, but the bad ones are always easy to spot out. They are usually looking for drinks, cant hold a serious conversation without asking you to dance, and are only interested in money money money. I've met girls that play it off very well.I've met up with girls outside of their club and went on dates and thought they were a good girl until you get that phone call where their car broke down, or the club was slow and cant pay thier rent, or their mom is sick! I've hung out with a girl for a month. Slept with her (condoms of course), spent the night at place, without her mentioning cash; and just when they think you have feelings for them they hit you with the sob story.

My advice to you is to be mindful of your wallet and heart. Treat her with the upmost respect as you would a girl who wasn't a stripper, and if that day comes where she needs to borrow some cash, have an excuse ready and dont fall for it. If she never asks you for cash, then she's a good girl. The only problem you'll have at that point is her resume, because getting a job that pays as much as she makes in the club is what my buddy is dealing with now.

Good luck and let me know if I can offer anymore advice.

As A strip club owner (former)

the odds are 10 to 1 that she is playing you...remember thats her job. The minute you gave her money you defined your relationship forever.

Just adding to the chorus here. Who knows, you might be the lucky one, but the odds are bad. Most strippers are not looking for boyfriends in strip clubs. The ones who want to make some cash and move on normally don't want to advertise that they were stripping, so they don't want the complications of a relationship that began there. The jaded die hards on the other hand are more than willing to string you along for extra cash. So be careful.

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Originally Posted by MikeSouth

As A strip club owner (former)

the odds are 10 to 1 that she is playing you...remember thats her job. The minute you gave her money you defined your relationship forever.

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HOLY SHIT MIKE SOUTH! I just got stripper advice (that ruined my day by the way) from Mike South! I'm insanely dazed, and disappointed. If anyone knows about strippers, it's you...

Edit: This is in no way meant to be sarcastic. I was genuinely taken aback seeing you on here, after seeing you quoted in so many articles on blogs I frequent. Mainstream ones, too. I think Gawker did a piece on you, didn't they?

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Originally Posted by userly234

HOLY SHIT MIKE SOUTH! I just got stripper advice (that ruined my day by the way) from Mike South! I'm insanely dazed, and disappointed. If anyone knows about strippers, it's you...

Edit: This is in no way meant to be sarcastic. I was genuinely taken aback seeing you on here, after seeing you quoted in so many articles on blogs I frequent. Mainstream ones, too. I think Gawker did a piece on you, didn't they?

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glad I made yer day and sorry I ruined it but one thing I bet you know about me is I dont bullshit

yep gawker did a piece and cnbc called me one of porns 10 most powerful people for 2013

it doesnt change the fact that i see myself as just a regular guy same as everyone else here...you ask what I think i will tell ya honestly

lol maybe the mods wanna start an ask mike south thread....

Actually when i said that i had no experience that was actually untrue - one of the stories above reminded me that one of my friend's old school friends was a dancer in one of the big clubs in London (I think it was spearmint). I only met her a few times and not in the club setting, but she seemed cool. she did exactly the above - made a shit-ton of money, bought her house and then settled down with a normal guy. I think she is in law now, or something equally well-paying. So it does happen.

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Originally Posted by userly234

...Not by her tits or anything like that, she was just utterly amazing to talk to....

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I am not familiar with the strip club scene but I am familiar with people thinking that a woman with a sex site is just doing it for the money.:(

I have a Masters in Library Science. I graduated at the top of my class at a very highly ranked university. I also have two conference papers published. Am I sex worker or a librarian with an intense sexual streak? Obviously, I don't need the money. The main reason I have a site is for the kink of it. The extra money does allow guilt free travel and sex accessories shopping but the kink is a far bigger reward. A side benefit has been that it has brought a bunch of people into my life that share exactly my kinks. I had been on swing sites for years and was always too kinky for most people. The men, couples and one woman that I have met from my site and Facial Forum, I consider friends, people with whom I like to have conversations as well as nasty, kinky sex. There is no money involved. It is just the sharing of fun times.

Also, my man met a woman in a strip place. His tale is similar to your story. They were both IATSE members and they clicked in a few minutes. He met her at a later date and they just had good sex. No money involved. He still gets an email from her occasionally. She wants to meet me. :o

Go on a date with this woman.
Do it without a whole bunch of negativity. Maybe 99 out of 100 strippers are in it for the money but maybe you found the one in a hundred that enjoys the kink of it. ;) I think it will be far harder for her to trust you than the other way around. Be honest with her, always, and see where this road takes you.
Piper

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Originally Posted by gloryholeprincess

I am not familiar with the strip club scene but I am familiar with people thinking that a woman with a sex site is just doing it for the money.:(

I have a Masters in Library Science. I graduated at the top of my class at a very highly ranked university. I also have two conference papers published. Am I sex worker or a librarian with an intense sexual streak? Obviously, I don't need the money. The main reason I have a site is for the kink of it. The extra money does allow guilt free travel and sex accessories shopping but the kink is a far bigger reward. A side benefit has been that it has brought a bunch of people into my life that share exactly my kinks. I had been on swing sites for years and was always too kinky for most people. The men, couples and one woman that I have met from my site and Facial Forum, I consider friends, people with whom I like to have conversations as well as nasty, kinky sex. There is no money involved. It is just the sharing of fun times.

Also, my man met a woman in a strip place. His tale is similar to your story. They were both IATSE members and they clicked in a few minutes. He met her at a later date and they just had good sex. No money involved. He still gets an email from her occasionally. She wants to meet me. :o

Go on a date with this woman.
Do it without a whole bunch of negativity. Maybe 99 out of 100 strippers are in it for the money but maybe you found the one in a hundred that enjoys the kink of it. ;) I think it will be far harder for her to trust you than the other way around. Be honest with her, always, and see where this road takes you.
Piper

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I'm going to. I've been discussing it with my buddy, and he said "Dude, I've never heard you talk about a chick like this before. It's a fucked up situation, but you have to at least try." He confirmed what I already knew. We set an actual date yesterday. Going out to lunch for sure. Even if it is a small chance, she very easily could be the girl of my dreams.

On a personal note, I now see why you are so loved here. The countless photos of your beautiful face covered in cum aside (busted my pre-bedtime nut to one last night), the fact that you took time out of your obviously busy life to build up my confidence means a lot. In this specific case, just sheer logic and probability could easily turn to cynicism on my part, but in my heart I am and always will be a hopeless romantic. Even so, sometimes I need a little push in the right direction. So, thank you (for the push, and the pictures!).

Userly234,

What were you wearing, especially your shoes? Were they expensive? What is your job (be general if need be, but specific for salary)? Did you tell her your job? What has been said between you two about money?

I think the above answers could help to clarify the situation.

I'm, and I think most people, are interested as to how this is going to turn out.

At the worst, if she's just using you for money, and you realize it, give her some facials, take some pics, and have a time of it. Unless you can't stop thinking about her even after you realized she's using you.

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Originally Posted by userly234

....she very easily could be the girl of my dreams...but in my heart I am and always will be a hopeless romantic. ...

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Go slowly, Userly. You could scare her away. It would scare me away if I was single and someone thought I was the woman of his dreams. ;) That said, you are absolutely so sweet. :o
Piper

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Originally Posted by MikeSouth

glad I made yer day and sorry I ruined it but one thing I bet you know about me is I dont bullshit

yep gawker did a piece and cnbc called me one of porns 10 most powerful people for 2013

it doesnt change the fact that i see myself as just a regular guy same as everyone else here...you ask what I think i will tell ya honestly

lol maybe the mods wanna start an ask mike south thread....

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Damn, we at FF are sooo happy to have a top ten "A" lister amongst our ranks and such a modest one to boot!!

Glad you are here Mike ;)

I have to agree with Piper. I dated a woman for many years who started dancing while we were dating. She was the same person after she started as she was before. She's just a person, just like you.

I have been a regular visitor of strip clubs, I have lived with strippers, dated strippers and had many (girl)friends that are strippers. And all this has been over 15 years.

Strippers learn early how to speak to guys, so they can hold a conversation with any male and keep you chatting. This way they can then charge for a sit-down, where they only chat to you, but you still pay them. (Money for nothing in their eyes).

Mike is right, as soon as you paid for a dance you are now a walking wallet. Meeting a girl in a bar or club and then finding out she is a stripper is a completely different situation as no money has changed hands. In my experience it is unheard of a girl giving out her number to a punter. The only girls I know that have done this also are paid for sex.

I might be wrong in this case, so here is a couple of tests:

1. Arrange a date that is not expensive and no opportunity to spend money , not during the evening, and requires you to both dress down. ie picnic in the park at lunch.
Play it as a thoughtful date that you will both have a laugh at. This way there is no opportunity for her to rack up the bill. If she genuinely likes you then she will just want to spend time with you. If not she will bale or suggest doing something different.

If you want to do a date during a evening then there is one rule. Don't buy a anything for her! Go half and half on the dinner bill, drinks everything, do not buy her anything. I know when a girl that is a stripper is my friend when she buys all the drinks (yes this happen to me on many nights out). If you help her spend the money she makes from stripping then you are in. If she is a good stripper then she will be rolling in money, if she thinks you are more than just a wallet, then she will spend her money on you.

Hope this helps

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Originally Posted by gloryholeprincess

Go slowly, Userly. You could scare her away. It would scare me away if I was single and someone thought I was the woman of his dreams. ;) That said, you are absolutely so sweet. :o
Piper

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Ahh, see I said *could* be. I don't know yet, and I fully intend to take it slow. And I'd never tell her! Not before or on the first date anyway (or second, third, etc). I'm a romantic, not crazy! But really, thanks for your support!

In fact, I really appreciate everyone's help. I didn't expect this many responses! For those of you insisting I keep my wits about me, I am. Our plan thus far is for lunch around midday. My first test was to see if she even offers to pay for herself (but even if she doesn't I don't think I would be able to let her). I fully expect it to be just a relaxed short lunch. Not only do I have to feel her out, but from her perspective, she has to feel me out to. As of now, I have no hard proof she's not trying to screw me out of my money, and she has no proof I'm not some psycho serial killer (I'm not, I swear).

It looks like you are all split 50/50 between "she's screwing you" and "go for it". I wish I knew how to make a poll! Hard to make a call with an even split (well, to be honest, I've made the call. I'm going to at least go for it. But small inspirations and dashes of reality are always welcome)

THANK YOU GUYS!

How did it go man?

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Originally Posted by hated

How did it go man?

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Yehhhh, how did it go? lol I hope well. :)
Piper

Got to admit, I'm curious as well

Hi guys, sorry for the delay...

It actually didn't go, her family was in town, and we weren't staying as close to the actual city as I first thought. That, along with our more or less polar opposite work schedules ended up ruining any chances of us meeting up that weekend.

We're still talking though, and are making plans for after Passover. Figure I'd give it one more go, and if it doesn't work out, I'd call it a day.

I wish I had more to report! Thanks for the support!

Any update? If work schedules are what's keeping you from meeting, then don't give up!

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Originally Posted by uk_guy

I have been a regular visitor of strip clubs, I have lived with strippers, dated strippers and had many (girl)friends that are strippers. And all this has been over 15 years.

Strippers learn early how to speak to guys, so they can hold a conversation with any male and keep you chatting. This way they can then charge for a sit-down, where they only chat to you, but you still pay them. (Money for nothing in their eyes).

Mike is right, as soon as you paid for a dance you are now a walking wallet. Meeting a girl in a bar or club and then finding out she is a stripper is a completely different situation as no money has changed hands. In my experience it is unheard of a girl giving out her number to a punter. The only girls I know that have done this also are paid for sex.

I might be wrong in this case, so here is a couple of tests:

1. Arrange a date that is not expensive and no opportunity to spend money , not during the evening, and requires you to both dress down. ie picnic in the park at lunch.
Play it as a thoughtful date that you will both have a laugh at. This way there is no opportunity for her to rack up the bill. If she genuinely likes you then she will just want to spend time with you. If not she will bale or suggest doing something different.

If you want to do a date during a evening then there is one rule. Don't buy a anything for her! Go half and half on the dinner bill, drinks everything, do not buy her anything. I know when a girl that is a stripper is my friend when she buys all the drinks (yes this happen to me on many nights out). If you help her spend the money she makes from stripping then you are in. If she is a good stripper then she will be rolling in money, if she thinks you are more than just a wallet, then she will spend her money on you.

Hope this helps

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I have been in and around gentlemans clubs for close to 40 years, and worked as a DJ for one in Austin, Texas the Red Rose. Pretty much sound advice given thru out the comments -There are two types by my experience - the Day girl and the Night girl - day girls - a lot of them are single moms that have limited education and this is best way they can earn decent money just working a few days a week and not give all away to day care, there are the legit students that have no other revenue stream, and few just lazy easy bucks girls. The Night crew - sex drugs and rock and roll - will take your money any way any where any time. It is true there are the good girls that get caught up in the easy money and the hype and fall by the wayside. And then there are the girls that do not need the money, just enjoy the erotica of it all.

Move slow and be watchful.

Flyguyrose

Okay, I thought I'd give you guys an update.
While scheduling conflicts and living in two states has prevented us from ever going on that date as yet, we've been talking more or less daily. For the sake of privacy, I won't reveal to many details about her, but she really is about as amazing as I first thought. And she's definitely NOT what about half of you predicted she would be or warned me against (thought I still appreciate your input, which helped me temper my expectations).
She hasn't asked me for money or anything like that. The depth, timing and level of personal details exchanged in our conversations prove to me at least she's not just angling for a repeat customer. I'm 100% sure now that we have a legitimate connection, and she wasn't just doing her job. She's passed all the tests, this is real, and I couldn't be happier.
Though, as my friend pointed out, all this is is just a fantasy until we actually spend time together (which will most likely come in May), but I am very optimistic about everything. I think it just goes to show that one should never judge a book by it's cover (like FF's resident princess said ;)).
Sorry for the delay, but I've been busy with work and haven't had a chance to get on here in a while. Again, and I can't say this enough, thanks so much for your help. I likely wouldn't have continued pursuing this had it not been for you guys, and I couldn't be happier that I did.
Thanks!

Also, as a thank you, here are some pictures of the cougar I was messing around with a few months ago...


It may look like I missed, but if you infer trajectory, I didn't ;)

Userly,
We're happy for ya, man! Be sure to touch base here once you actually meet. Continued success to you, bro!

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Originally Posted by theoriemeister

Userly,
We're happy for ya, man! Be sure to touch base here once you actually meet. Continued success to you, bro!

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Thanks! Will do. We've set a date. I'm going to see her the weekend of the 17th. It's on both our calendars, she's not going to work that weekend, the stars have aligned! I haven't been this excited and/or nervous about a date since high school.

Keep your fingers crossed!

I went to see her and it went great. I ended up going a day early because we both wanted to finally see each other so badly. Spent that Friday night together until around sunrise, then spent the the whole day/night together Saturday. It was amazing, she was amazing, so much more beautiful and charming than I ever expected. I've never met anyone so mentally, emotionally, and physically (shes just as kinky as I am, though we still haven't gone too far) perfect for me. Going to see her is definitely going to be a regular thing now.

We're getting somewhat more serious now, nothing big, but we talk everyday, for hours and hours at a time (the nights she doesn't work, obviously), and have learned so much about each other. I see a real future with her, and again, I want to thank you guys so much. I probably wouldn't have pursued it this far if it weren't for you guys. THANK YOU.

I've never been this happy just to know someone! Such an amazing feeling...

Congrats, man. We are happy that things are so far, so good. Of course, this being the FF, we're gonna want to know the details about your sexual activities! lol And if you have an pics of it!!

Glad to see it went so well. Just shows life can surprise you. Best of luck.

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Originally Posted by theoriemeister

Congrats, man. We are happy that things are so far, so good. Of course, this being the FF, we're gonna want to know the details about your sexual activities! lol And if you have an pics of it!!

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I'll share, but only if she's willing, and we are definitely not to the point where I can ask her that yet! But don't worry, I know, I know...

So, how is the relationship working out? Have things gotten more serious or did you two grow apart due to the distance?

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Originally Posted by snesh

I have no experience on this, but I would say to tread lightly - chances are that this is just a way to get you back to make money, so if the 'first date' is back at the strip club then warning bells should be going off. That said, just because she is a stripper doesn't mean that she isn't also a normal woman who wants to find love just like everyone else (and lets face it, when you work full time it is often hard to meet people outside of work) so I wouldn't be completely skeptical.

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I do have experience with this. It is not a common thing, most of the time a girl working at a bar is there for work and the chances are she sees you as a client nothing more. However two people becoming enamoured can happen anywhere and there was twice that I came to know a girl outside the bar. In fact I wouldn't even go to hang at the club anymore except to pick her up after her shift. Most dancers prefer their guy to be separate from their work.

I don't really go to strip bars much anymore, but the girls working there run from one spectrum to the other from the kind of girl who has substance issues or who will also prostitute , to the kind of girl that actually prefers other girls and uses men for money, to the smart and got it together girl who is temporarily stripping to make money until she moves on to bigger and better things.

So for the OP I'd say give a shot, unless some dark aspects of her come to light. Just don't try to buy her , any woman that truly wants you doesn't want to be bought or showered with gifts otherwise you'll loose her respect and she'll use you until she is finished with you.

I will add also that I have known a few strippers in my time though only actually dated a couple, mostly because back in the day they seemed to gravitate toward us rocker musician types and the fact is percentage wise most those girls had a moral compass that was all fucked up. The kind of girl you have fun with but don't marry. However I have a long time life long friend who was a stripper, and she was loyal to her boyfriends or husband, not a drug addict, and is a talented musician who is now making art and selling them for up to $5000 a painting and is happily married and the kind of friend who will be there for you at the drop of a hat.

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Originally Posted by MikeSouth

As A strip club owner (former)

. The minute you gave her money you defined your relationship forever.

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So true. Unless he is so good looking and impressive to her and under certain circumstances.For instance I'll never understand men who go looking for a wife half his age like the foreign bride deal and think that it will be a lasting true love marriage only to be left in the dust later. If a guy wants to go that route he might as well be true to himself and negotiate a "arrangement" with her and accept it it isn't about love.

I got to say I just read through the entire thread , it took four months for the OP's girl to finally fill a real date? Seems to me a woman who is really interested finds a way to have time and bothers the guy to see him, sometimes to the point of being annoying.

I know us men can go gaga over a hot babe, to the point of not thinking straight, been down that road before. As far as strippers, once you take away the fascination generally because of their probably good looks, though many strippers aren't actually all that good looking actually, because many of them are thin and all tattooed up which is not my real preference, you come to find that no matter how hot she (any woman) is it isn't worth the aggravation, the broken heart and empty finances.