how have your craigslist postings gone? how do you be sure for your safety?

I put up a posting nearly a month ago regarding facials and rough oral... I got a response yesterday. I've been talking to her and she seems great - if she's real and not just leading me on. but she seems pretty cool, these fantasies and messages are responding to mine and stuff. but hearing things like people dying on craigslist... that scares the crap out of me. I'm almost 23 and have my whole life ahead of me - I've just been horny and had no luck in the dating/sex game and surprisingly I got this message. she's into bondage and wants to have rough oral. seems so, so amazing. too good to be true - I hope it is true!

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Originally Posted by dronkman

I put up a posting nearly a month ago regarding facials and rough oral... I got a response yesterday. I've been talking to her and she seems great - if she's real and not just leading me on. but she seems pretty cool, these fantasies and messages are responding to mine and stuff. but hearing things like people dying on craigslist... that scares the crap out of me. I'm almost 23 and have my whole life ahead of me - I've just been horny and had no luck in the dating/sex game and surprisingly I got this message. she's into bondage and wants to have rough oral. seems so, so amazing. too good to be true - I hope it is true!

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Hi! Yea, sounds like something to be careful with to me. Not saying its not true, but... yea. It could be anyone. I would def meet in a public place the first time. If they are real, Im sure they will mutually understand. Once you're sure that she is who she says that she is you can take her back to a hotel and fuck her brains out, and give her a big sticky load on her face and chest! :P

thanks. she sounds pretty cool and it would be the most amazing thing if we got together, I've been putting ads up every now and then and this is the first real response I got and we're still talking. she's sending me links to porn that makes her horny and telling me her fantasies... I hope that she's real and I don't end up on the news :P

like holy crap, if we get together and become FWBs like we talked about, it's going to be so much fun. hopefully she'll let me take pics and vids :)

It does happen. I have found several special friends through CL over the years. You just want to be careful. Don't push it too much, but see if she is okay sharing names. If so, do some checking up on her. As said before, meet the first time in a public place. Restaurants work well. And to be extra careful have your first play date in a hotel. It is neutral for both of you so it avoids most nasty surprises some people might have for unsuspecting newbies. If she insists at meeting at her place or the first time going back to her place then be careful it might be a set up. That all said, don't freak out. Millions of people have used CL to hook up and except for those very rare bad cases they did just fine.

I avoid CL. I suggest you avoid it as well. :sad: There are too many people and agencies surfing that site. There are a lot of swing sites out there that would be better. You will have the best luck if you post a lot of normal pics of yourself. Fetlife is one.

That said. I know a couple who post on CL when they are going to a gloryhole. Knock on wood, they have never had any trouble. They just have friendly guys who show up to get sucked by her. But switch to Fetlife. :winking:
Piper

In addition to all the advice given so far (which is good) allow me to add a few other things:

1) If you're going to use the net for hookups make a separate email account. Make sure the name and password have no connection to an existing account and NEVER use this to email regular old friends/family, etc. This will prevent you from accidentally emailing your mom/sister/boss nasty stuff.

2) Patience is your friend. When you post CL ads, hold the responders to some standard of intelligence. And if they don't place some value on typing properly to communicate ideas then they don't expect YOUR responses to be sharp. Any animal can get a mobile phone, hit the web, and respond to ads so if she's not screening properly on her end it's a big red flag on her ability to calculate risk. It throws into question how many guys she's hooked up with, if protection was used, if she have no problem going to a strange guy's place for the first meeting, etc. Generally speaking, you should sense a bit of caution/hesitancy on her end. That's a good sign she's not banging guys ever day of the week that she's met online. Be a gentleman, take your time speaking with her, take her out for a dinner or drink and show her you're not a mongrel.

3) In my experience the girls you want to find on CL or Fetlife or whatever are regular, educated, well-rounded people that just use the net to find likeminded kinksters. If you don't get that sense, stay clear.

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Originally Posted by jimbokyle

2) Patience is your friend. When you post CL ads, hold the responders to some standard of intelligence. And if they don't place some value on typing properly to communicate ideas then they don't expect YOUR responses to be sharp. Any animal can get a mobile phone, hit the web, and respond to ads so if she's not screening properly on her end it's a big red flag on her ability to calculate risk. It throws into question how many guys she's hooked up with, if protection was used, if she have no problem going to a strange guy's place for the first meeting, etc. Generally speaking, you should sense a bit of caution/hesitancy on her end. That's a good sign she's not banging guys ever day of the week that she's met online. Be a gentleman, take your time speaking with her, take her out for a dinner or drink and show her you're not a mongrel.

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This! This man is wise! :)

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Originally Posted by dronkman

I hope that she's real and I don't end up on the news :P

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Sorry, but when you said that I saw this in my head, and laughed! LMAO!

Thanks ISHL. I'm a fan of you, btw :-)

Most of this is similar to what others have already said, but here are some tips; following these will help minimize the chance of problems.

1: Whoever said "hold posters to some level of intelligence" has it spot on. I would be extremely cautious of any ads that are full of misspellings or randomly capitalized letters--in fact, I would avoid these completely. Stuff like that is probably 95% of the time someone who is either a)really dumb b) trawling for super-desperate/reckless (easier to entice) people in order to do something bad to them, or c) some sort of machine. I know the OP was talking about a "m4w" scenario...but I would say generally avoid the "w4m" category (I'm assuming most readers here are straight men) altogether, since this is probably where you'll find the most sketchiness. If you aren't looking for a couple/group thing (and even then...) there are a few sites specifically meant for personals that are not as sketchy; like Gloryholeprincess said, Fetlife is great place to find real people. Keep in mind that Craigslist personals is largely used by two types of people: scammers and worse on one hand, and on the other, people who don't regularly meet strangers for sex but want to try it--often seemingly based on a whim, and who may change their minds on a whim. There are cool, well-meaning people there but you shouldn't assume anything.

2: ALWAYS get them to meet you in a public place beforehand. It's very important to be able to feel vibes beforehand and to be able to drop and dash if necessary. Be suspicious of anyone who won't do this, as it strongly implies they have something to hide.

3. Do some research, as much as you can, beforehand. Look up where they live (even if all you know is the general area), their phone number, etc. and just be better safe than sorry if something seems off.

Remember, no sex is worth getting robbed/killed over! It's one thing to be nervous and unsure ahead of time, but it's another to have "that feeling"...

In addition to all the good advice already given, I would suggest registering with one of the more popular escort review sites.

You can find links to these sites by looking over escort-related sites or simply type "escorts" and your city name into a search engine. You will find that a lot of the legitimate providers will encourage viewers to "Check my great reviews at.....(such & such site)" and post the links.

Besides ads & reviews, many of these sites have forums organized by city & state where reals guys warn of scams, discuss going rates and give recommendations on finding providers who cater to certain fetishes.

Yes...these are paid escorts and not just "wild hookups".. But besides guaranteed service, you really can't put a price on your own personal safety.

Thanks for all the tips :)

I haven't met her yet. I might not. Some pieces seem fishy. This is believable but at the same time I'm not very comfortable - she says she has s phone through work and so she doesn't have her own. She doesn't want to text or call in fear of being monitored... But never answered me on if she had a twitter/Kik/Facebook or to make a fetlife profile. I think I might just move to fetlife altogether - but doesn't seem as though this might happen since its been a few days without response.

You're all great though - I hope I meet someone off of fetlife to indulge in sexual activities with... I need to unload on a beautiful willing woman's face, it's been tooooo long!