(Facial) Virgin

[pjblackmirror]

Hey folks, just wanted to introduce myself.*My name is Jake, I'm 30 years old, and*from Chicago.*I used to visit the forum rather frequently but took a year or two break, and have now returned to continue exploring my facial festish.* Sadly, my previous user name is lost to time (along with the old yahoo address I had associated with it--one that I only used for my "adult" online activities), so here I am starting anew.

Here's my big reveal: I've never given a facial.* It's one of my biggest, unresolved sexual fantasies, and it seems like a simple enough one to pull off, but it's just never happened too me.* I guess I'm too nice a guy just to pull out and do it without permission, and none of the women I dated ever game me permission.And now, I'm married.* My wife has zero interest in letting me cum on her face--she finds it degrading and a huge turn-off, and I have to respect what her feelings on the matter are, no matter how disappointing.* It's weird, because she's otherwise pretty open sexually, and even gave me the go-ahead to pursue this and another, unrelated fantasy outside of our marriage (as long as I "keep it SAFE, andkeep it a secret"), but I haven't taken her up on that, and probably won't.**I guess I just don't see how I could find someone for that specific purpose directly, and to get there in a round about way seems like it would involve a fair amount of "dating" that, as a married man, would just make me feel shady.

So, anyway, I guess I'm wondering if I'm the only guy here that's in this (very frustrating)*boat?* Am I the only facial virgin lurking on these boards, appreciating other people's exploration and sharing (and thank you all, I really do appreciate it), with the knowledge that it's never going to actually happen for me?

[pjblackmirror]

Sorry for all the *s in my OP. Im at work so I had to type my post in gmail then copy and paste the post into the forum on my phone. Not sure why it inserted all those.

[Wirlwind]

Well never say no. It took me a long time to finally my wife agreed with it. Don't be pushy, talk about it from time to time. Tbh it only happened to me after me and her started to watch porn together. She is into one of my favourite kind that is retro and vintage.

So my point is keep at it but be light about it. After she realises that what impulses us is how hot it looks and that level of acceptance is, no degrading at all then things may change.

Never give up hope.

[murkolatoya]

Sorry to hear that Jake. And kudos for talking about your problem.
Also in my 30's, being in a relationship where I can be really honest with my sexual fantasies, meaning facials and gagging. I feel privileged. I also makes me sad to hear your story.
Weird thing is, even in this relationship I often hinder myself in the moment when I'm about to give my woman a facial, thinking that I'm doing something wrong or degrading, even though it's clearly not an issue for her. I'm not sure why. It's as if all my life I've pictured a facial as something being deeply degrading to women, yet it has still been the most satisfying thing for me. For a while I even wondered if I'd ever meet a woman who would accept me for who I was sexually.
I didn't really solve your problem there. Just sharing thoughts.

[pjblackmirror]

I didn't really solve your problem there. Just sharing thoughts.

No apology needed, man. Sharing thoughts it what I started this thread for.

[pjblackmirror]

I mean, facials can be a power play thing. That's definitely part of the turn on for me, and I think to some degree, for most guys who are into it. That doesn't make it degrading if the woman doesn't find it so, but that's also why someone can, legitimately, find it degrading. It's all a matter of finding two people who, for what ever reason, both get off on it or for who it's not an issue. In this case, my wife isn't into it, and I kind of feel like continuing to push her toward something just because I'm into it WOULD be degrading, when we've got plenty of common ground sexually that keeps us connected and, mostly, happy.

I just wish I'd taken care of this particular fetish at least once before I tied the knot. lol

[quattrog]

In my case, there is nothing in it for me about being degrading. I'm not into degrading women. I love women and would never do anything to degrade someone. For me it is strictly a visual thing. And there is one more thing. There was an article on a christian site regarding sexuality. I think it was even here that I found the link to the article. In that article they stated that it is the act of accepting your lover so fully that you allow them to perform this. There is something close and loving and accepting when your lover allows you to do it. They are saying, I accept you. I actually get more out of the anticipation of performing the act, than actually doing it. I even feel some guilt and remorse afterwards. And I feel closer to my lover when they allow me to perform this one kinky act that I enjoy.
I hope that you can share this with your wife and she can see another side of it.

[pjblackmirror]

Quattrog, I'm totally with you about not degrading women. I think that there can be a power dynamic without it being degrading. Power dynamics are inherent in consensual sex--there are just lots of ways it can be arranged and expressed. I think giving a facial is, without question, an expression of dominance. That's not a judgement, it's just where I think the root of the fetish lies--though some may disagree. There are plenty of ways to healthily express dominant urges in sex, and I'm not just talking about the extremes. Facials are one of those healthy expressions--if they are consensual.

I've discussed it with my wife. She's not into it precisely because she feels it is an expression of dominance that she's not comfortable with--there are others she's fine with, just not that one. I respect my wife's intellect and I trust her enough to know she's actually considered my desire before deciding against it.

Lest you think I'm just giving up too easily, here's how I see it. I feel like if I push any further, it would amount to coercion, and the facial wouldn't really be consensual. Then it WOULD be degrading. That's why I've accepted that I'm not going to be giving my wife a facial. Besides, she gave me an out if I really want to take it. I'm just not sure I want to.

[mytex]

Ha! I am in the same situation. The one thing I haven't tried but am slowing planning is to introduce her to that jezebel dot com article on facials. it was posted here once and written about a year ago. It went into the desire of why men want to facialize women and that is was more about acceptance than anything else. I just cant figure out how to get her to read it casually.

[oldblue]

Giving your wife a facial is something that may take a great deal of time and patience on your part before she might let you try it. It is like any sex act, if she has never done it before there will be some apprehension and hesitation. Patience, patience, patience.
If she swallows when you come in her mouth, you could try asking her to hold it and show you how she looks with a mouthful of cum before she swallows. Maybe a good sized load might dribble a little down her chin. You could use your fingers to feed it back to her, or maybe even lick it from her chin and give it back to her. Let he know how beautiful she looks with her chin cum covered.
Who knows there may come a day when when she might allow you to start covering her lips and chin. Again always let her know how beautiful she looks that way. You never know what you might be able to accomplish.
Patience, patience, patience.

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