Comedy Central, Let's Have A Giggle!!

[Brian1453]

When Love Fades:


Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV
when I heard my wife's' voice from the kitchen.
"What would you like for dinner, my love?
Chicken, Beef or Lamb?"
I said, "Thank you dear, I'll have chicken."
She replied "You're having soup, butt head ... I was
talking to the cat."

[franklynxxx]

Teach your robot to act like a dog
Hey let go of my leg

www.dailymotion.com/video/x11yc7_robot-libido_fun

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[crimesqd]

i was thrown out o our local baths today, just cuz the S had rubbed of my SPEEDO,S

[alkie]

Yoko Ono has been signed up for the next series of 'I'm A Celebrity, Get
Me Out Of Here!'
Show bosses think she will do really well since she's been living off a dead beatle for the last thirty years.

What is nasal sex?
F**k nose.

I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army soup kitchen, ungrateful
bleeders, all I said was, 'hurry up for f**ks sake, some of us have got
homes to go to!'

Christmas is like any other day for me, sitting at the table with a big
fat bird who doesn't gobble anymore.

Women should be like golf caddies, either holding your balls or getting
your bloody tee ready!

Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching tv when I heard my wife's
voice from the kitchen, 'what you like for dinner my love, chicken, beef or
lamb?'
I said, 'Thank you, I'll have chicken please'
She replied, 'You're having soup you fat bastard, I was talking to the cat!'

Not every flower can say love, but a rose can.
Not every flower can survive thirst, but a cactus can.
Not every vegetable can read, but bless, look at you having a little go!

Got myself a new Jack Russell puppy, he's mainly black and brown with a small white patch, so I've named him Birmingham. (UK Joke)

In an Indian restaurant last night having a meal, waiter came over and
says, 'Curry Ok?'
I said, 'go on then, just one song then bugger off'

I was sat in a restaurant and got hit on the back of the head by a prawn
cocktail. I looked round and this bloke shouts, 'That's just for starters!'

Firemen have just rescued an Irish man with his penis stuck in a condom
machine. They asked him what happened and he said, 'the sign says, insert
£2 and push knob in'.

[Brian1453]

A funny commercial with a facial surprise: http: //www . youtube . com/watch?v=Z7U8Fl5A4OY

Another with a beauty who is willing but needs glasses: http ://www . youtube . com/watch?v=U9y9McTwNKE

And a few jokes:

Q: Why do men get their great ideas in bed?
A: Because they are plugged into a genius!

Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
A: Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.

Q: How do you get a nun pregnant?
A: Dress her up as an alter boy.

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue.

If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get layed off?

Q: Do you know what the square root of 69 is?
A: Ate something

Q: What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers?
A: A virgin.

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

Q: What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah?
A: About three inches.

Q: After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."
A: She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

Q. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
A. Call her and tell her.

Q: What's the job application to Hooters?
A: They just give you a bra and say: Here, fill this out.

Q: What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?
A: Spit, swallow, and gargle,

Q: How do you know if your boyfriend has a high sperm count?
A: You have to chew before you swallow!

[Brian1453]

And a few more jokes which begin and end with those elusive G-Spots:

Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A: A guy will actually search for a golf ball.


A man walks into a therapist's office wearing nothing but seran wrap pants.
The therapist takes one look at him and says "Clearly, I can see your nuts."


Jack and Jill went up the hill,
With a little keg of brandy.
Jack got stewed,
Jill got screwed,
Now it's Jack, and Jill, and Andy.


As sex education is being taught at a younger age these days little Johnny is in class one day when the teacher begins the days sex lesson.
"Today's letter is the letter "p" and the word is "penis".
Little Johnny can hardly contain himself and blurts out, "I know what that is"! "I know! I know!!"
" My daddy has two of them! "
"He has a little one he goes pee with...and a great big one he brushes the baby sitters teeth with!"


A young married couple go to a sex therapist, and the bride promptly complains, "My husband suffers from premature ejaculation!"
"Is this true?" the therapist calmly asks.
"Well, not exactly. I don't suffer. She does."


Q: What do you call a woman who can suck a Golf ball through a 20 ft. garden hose?

A: `Darling', `Sweetheart', `Precious', Whatever it takes.


Bill and Doug were having a drink at the bar and Bill says, "I found my wife's G-spot".
Doug says, "Oh yeah?"
Bill replies, "Yep - my neighbor had it."

[Brian1453]

Here are a few laughs to help you make it through the last hours of the work week. Well, for those of us here in the US anyway still waiting for our weekend to start. Hope the rest of you are already enjoying your weekend.

[jonze]

I saw these on Funny or Die today, figured they would be appreciated here

[Brian1453]

Those are good Jonze. If you are going to do the milk thing, then just do it!

Here are a few more funny ones. The first two seem especially right for FF.

[franklynxxx]

Feeling not so good ?

http://www.facialforum.net/attachmen...9&d=1316381774


Like you really need to go ?

http://www.facialforum.net/attachmen...0&d=1316381774


But you don't know where ?

http://www.facialforum.net/attachmen...71d=1316381774


Invest in Pumpkins !

www.cnbc.com/id/44560678

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