We communicate because we were friends 5 years before dating, and then we lived together as a couple for other 7 years! We discovered that we were better friends than lovers. We still see each other... as friends and no sex.
To be a kinkster is out of debate: a few years she discovered I was member of a Spanish porn forum. She got really upset because she thinks porn is humillating and so on. Don't get me wrong, she is very hot in bed, but simply doesn't like porn, exhibitionist and those class of things.
So, I'm quite unexperienced in many things: my experience doesn't fit my nasty fantasies. If we finally don't come back together, I'd like to become, as you said, more kinkster. The only question is: How can I do it? Where are all those kinky women to play with?
Oh, damn... I sounded like a teenager....