Thanks Alkie. Those are funny. I like the way Ralphy thinks.
Thanks Alkie. Those are funny. I like the way Ralphy thinks.
A truck driver was driving along the M25 and passes under a bridge, he glances up and sees a pretty young blonde perched on the edge, crying.
Concerned for her safety, he pulls over and fantically runs towards her waving his arms....
''stop, wait'' he cries
He reaches the girl and grabs her arm just as she lunges forward to jump.
''woah! what are you doing?'' he asks
''committing suicide'' cries the girl
The truck driver thinks for a moment and says...
''Oh well, any chance of a blow job before you jump?''
The girl thinks a moment and replies ''yes''
After 10 minutes of the most perfect blowjob ever, the truck driver blows his load and the girl walks sobbing back to the bridge.
''fuck me, that was fantastic'' the driver says ''...but what makes you want to commit suicide?''
''my mum and dad hate me dressing as a girl'' comes the reply.......
Waltzing Matilda!!
A Drover walks into a bar with
a pet crocodile by his side.
He puts the crocodile up on the bar.
He turns to the astonished patrons.
'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my dick inside.
Then the croc will close his
mouth for one minute.
'Then he'll open his mouth
and I'll remove my cock unscathed.
In return for witnessing this
spectacle,
each of you will buy me a drink.'
The crowd murmured their approval.
The man stood up on the bar,
dropped his trousers,
and placed his prick and related parts in the crocodile's open mouth.
The croc closed his mouth
as the crowd gasped.
After a minute,
the man grabbed a beer
bottle and smacked the
crocodile really,really hard on the top of
its head
The croc opened his mouth
and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheered,
and the first of his free
drinks were delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer. 'I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try.'
A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.
A blonde woman timidly
Spoke up...
...'I'll try it
Just try not to hit me so hard
with the beer bottle!'
Used car for sale
1985 Blue Volkswagen Golf
Only 15 km
Only first gear and reverse used
Never driven hard
Original tires
Original brakes
Original fuel and oil
Only 1 driver
Owner wishing to sell due to employment lay-off
Photo Attached
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lmao great jokes everyone!
A sign outside of a saloon
Entertain A Bar Girl
Liquor In The Front
Poker In The Rear
Last edited by franklynxxx; 09-28-2009 at 01:35 PM.
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This is just a funny pic. It has not been photoshopped. The sunlight going through these deep, ornate archways is just doing something the builders probably did not intend. I bet this bridge is very popular with young lovers.
The perfect scarf
Are you unnoticed?
Are you sick of being ignored?
Do you sit unnoticed on the sidelines
while others are picked?
Are you tired of being overlooked?
Get a new scarf ! !
Try the latest scarf fashion and you too
will be the center of attention . . .
The 'slutty' ones with the tattoo especially crack me up.
Well I know I would!!Originally Posted by Brian1453
The 'slutty' ones with the tattoo especially crack me up.
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